Too funny:
“If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.”
~ Mark Twain
Always loved this one by Twain, as well:
“If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything.”
Too true:
“In religion and politics, people’s beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second hand, and without examination.”
“It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not to deserve them.”
“Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.”
~ Mark Twain